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herpaderpaherp

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herpaderpaherp
  • Town/Country : Fairfax, Virginia, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About herpaderpaherp : Kinda made a profile after not being able to vote on comments. Lovin FML, and feel free to message me.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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herpaderpaherp's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (6064)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43231) - you deserved it (31572) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (61152)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54951) - you deserved it (3882)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57300) - you deserved it (35816)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61847) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3651)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18114) - you deserved it (102225)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62488) - you deserved it (3362)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55273) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47654) - you deserved it (10613)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56165) - you deserved it (5702)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (44587) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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