hermitknut

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hermitknut

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2692
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About hermitknut : I prefer to remain an enigma. >.> Nah, I have an LJ account and a twitter, same username. Userpic is by http://likealight.livejournal.com. Evening all.

hermitknut's page activity

Visits<b>michael3005</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 9:02pm<b>Casper19</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 10:36am<b>DooleyFTW</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 5:16am<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/21/2012 at 2:12am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 9:05am<b>WutzButz</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 9:45pm

hermitknut's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of hermitknut's badges

hermitknut's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

by robzzz / 02/16/2012 at 2:13am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

by DarkDolly / 02/04/2012 at 11:39am / France / Transportation

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

by anon / 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

by ...loud noises...urgh... / 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML

by Bisounours / 07/22/2011 at 7:23am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm / United States / Animals

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

by weirdome23 / 04/26/2011 at 5:45am / United States / Miscellaneous