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hermitknut

Offline (the 08/12/2014 at 8:53am) | Search for a member

hermitknut

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 712
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About hermitknut : I prefer to remain an enigma. >.> Nah, I have an LJ account and a twitter, same username. Userpic is by http://likealight.livejournal.com. Evening all.

hermitknut's page activity

Visits<b>michael3005</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 9:02pm<b>Casper19</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 10:36am<b>DooleyFTW</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 5:16am<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/21/2012 at 2:12am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 9:05am<b>WutzButz</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 9:45pm

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hermitknut's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (7937)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44626) - you deserved it (8824)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55822) - you deserved it (32848)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (41649)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (39595)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (5838)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (59823)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (5327)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (5396)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (3232)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (2204)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (1257)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)



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