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herbertdafrog96

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herbertdafrog96
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  • Number of visits : 100
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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herbertdafrog96's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43150) - you deserved it (8128)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45165) - you deserved it (6322)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73162) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53231) - you deserved it (7692)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (6911)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (5684)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (4549)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (4167)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (1764)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (4888)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (1757)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (2798)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47081) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)



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