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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hellzrydaz

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hellzrydaz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 297
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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hellzrydaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

#17162598 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (5608)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:05pm - love - by womanlover12345 - Spain

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (2269)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (18904) - you deserved it (1649)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (8214) - you deserved it (9260)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (1462)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

#3947588 (379)

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (19836)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML

#3925497 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (8034)

On 07/21/2009 at 8:03am - love - by person_r (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (142186) - you deserved it (12683)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML

#1631844 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (63759) - you deserved it (4238)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by JessBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (72972) - you deserved it (12568)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

#696283 (538)

I agree, your life sucks (159022) - you deserved it (14425)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

#398759 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (15687) - you deserved it (70153)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by cannabis_this420 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (44091) - you deserved it (6573)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)