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helloyoulizard

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helloyoulizard

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  • Number of visits : 100
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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helloyoulizard's page activity

Visits<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 9:19am<b>persianjr</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 2:23pm

helloyoulizard's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

helloyoulizard's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (4594)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (24683)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46483) - you deserved it (12126)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44623) - you deserved it (5562)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML

#21177054
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (5525)

On 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by UnhappilyUnemployed (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50800) - you deserved it (5794)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

#21167164
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46674) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (12851)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (5437)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70) - you deserved it (18009)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21126521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm - work - by fat girl - United States (Alaska)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (53718)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (3425)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML



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