helloimclaudia

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Offline (the 07/18/2016 at 7:50pm)

helloimclaudia

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helloimclaudia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2086
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About helloimclaudia : About me:
I'm a nineteen year old girl from The Netherlands. I speak Dutch, English, a little bit of French and a little bit of German. One of my goals is learning Spanish.
Right now, I'm in the fifth, and last, class of high school. (For the dutch people, 5 havo.) You could say that I'm in senior year.

helloimclaudia's page activity

Visits<b>Altairae</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:39pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:10am<b>tigerthepredator</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 4:44pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:59am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:52pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:12pm<b>haiku575</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:01am<b>C7</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Guy1009</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:12pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:51am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:36am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:01am<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:16pm<b>Lachen36</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>DaBayst</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:40pm<b>theaccountant</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 3:49pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:10pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:01pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:26pm

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helloimclaudia's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2014 at 11:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

by taylor w / 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

by a.white / 12/11/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

by markerThief / 10/13/2013 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

by seizure_girl / 08/15/2013 at 9:32am / United States (South Dakota) / Health

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