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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2435
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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hellheart's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:02pm<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 08/22/2011 at 3:48pm<b>iggledebiggle</b> - the 04/28/2010 at 4:55pm

hellheart's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hellheart's favorite FMLs

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

by oboy / 03/01/2010 at 12:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

by bun593 / 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

by princess4242 / 02/26/2010 at 4:10am / India (Delhi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

by soomeone / 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

by Chan / 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

by JustAnotherTina / 12/02/2009 at 10:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

by thornrose22 / 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

by screwed / 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment complaint since my boss exposed himself to me. His response was that the procedure is to "get over it." And he went back to reading. FML

by dyingtinkerbell / 10/18/2009 at 7:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

by paris78 / 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2009 at 12:38am / United States / Love