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hellaflushfa5

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hellaflushfa5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1940 (74 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 879
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About hellaflushfa5 : La hente esta mu loca, wtf

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hellaflushfa5's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24446) - you deserved it (3824)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (31735)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29795) - you deserved it (3453)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (17007)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (7944)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (2129)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (1825)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

#19786786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (2160)

On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12692) - you deserved it (42915)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

#19725175
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (4253)

On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (13114)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you deserved it (2560)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (2107)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)



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