About hellaflushfa5 : La hente esta mu loca, wtf
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Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (2403)
On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (27678)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (3056)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (15180)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (5803)
On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (1771)
On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (1388)
On 08/29/2012 at 1:32am - love - by SuzyTurquoiseBlu (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12870) - you deserved it (1194)
On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (10408)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (1740)
On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9973) - you deserved it (31450)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16033) - you deserved it (3091)
On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14679) - you deserved it (9565)
On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (1761)
On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (1396)
On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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