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heartlessj

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heartlessj
  • Town/Country : new york, Usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 205
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About heartlessj : Pro Troll over hereeeeee:]

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heartlessj's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (126822)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (115279)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (471074) - you deserved it (584939)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
865 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56225) - you deserved it (329570)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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