heartless

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heartless

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22352
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About heartless : GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR COOKIES

heartless's page activity

Visits<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 12:33am<b>silkyred</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:46pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:56pm<b>foxychik10704</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:57pm<b>jacc16</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:46am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:07pm<b>relaxfreak</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 7:14pm<b>thunderdome41</b> - the 10/06/2010 at 3:28pm<b>LittleMissTexter</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 11:05pm<b>Albinoundead</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 3:12pm<b>ashlynn610</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 3:09pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 10/22/2009 at 6:27pm<b>sophiereuss</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 11:13pm<b>wdaareg</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:39pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 8:52pm<b>Kevinslath</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 1:49am<b>wbrycem</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 10:14pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 8:15pm

heartless's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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heartless's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

by notyouagain / 10/03/2010 at 3:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

by anonymous / 06/11/2010 at 12:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 3:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

by UGH / 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

by hamsterlovinn / 06/06/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy