Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22197
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted


heartless's page activity

Visits<b>silkyred</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:46pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:56pm<b>foxychik10704</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:57pm<b>jacc16</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:46am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:07pm<b>relaxfreak</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 7:14pm<b>thunderdome41</b> - the 10/06/2010 at 3:28pm<b>LittleMissTexter</b> - the 10/04/2010 at 11:05pm<b>Albinoundead</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 3:12pm<b>ashlynn610</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 3:09pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 10/22/2009 at 6:27pm<b>sophiereuss</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 11:13pm<b>wdaareg</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:39pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 8:52pm<b>Kevinslath</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 1:49am<b>wbrycem</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 10:14pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 8:15pm<b>waaah</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 7:42pm

heartless's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of heartless's badges

heartless's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (4760)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML


I agree, your life sucks (57048) - you deserved it (22392)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29721) - you deserved it (2752)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37965) - you deserved it (2744)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML


I agree, your life sucks (75954) - you deserved it (5258)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (712189) - you deserved it (477987)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: