About heartless : GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR COOKIES
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15070) - you deserved it (8035)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36931) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37582) - you deserved it (4305)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (10805)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (7337)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (5840)
On 12/30/2010 at 10:06am - health - by depressednupset (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (5840)
On 12/30/2010 at 10:06am - health - by depressednupset (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (2094)
On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (3414)
On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (3414)
On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (3414)
On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (16500)
On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (1622)
On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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