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About head2133 : Go to school stupid. Leave school dumb
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Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6113) - you deserved it (786)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4745) - you deserved it (1031)
On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (1094)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2767) - you deserved it (6296)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6906) - you deserved it (2085)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18728) - you deserved it (3226)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (2073)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (1699)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21784)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7238) - you deserved it (537)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5211) - you deserved it (904)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States
Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (2836)
On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States
Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2221)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8082) - you deserved it (769)
On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (1396)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)
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