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hazelmonster

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hazelmonster
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1974
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hazelmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61323) - you deserved it (8157)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51476) - you deserved it (15693)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
817 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (463286)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52459) - you deserved it (7223)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

#4136342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71997) - you deserved it (3333)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

#4113749
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53401) - you deserved it (2144)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML

#4076767
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33655) - you deserved it (21924)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:49am - love - by not-that-fat (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (15454)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52966) - you deserved it (27833)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

#3692472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14243) - you deserved it (55642)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Zitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (5605)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (63469)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview, I went to cross my legs and realized I had 2 different shoes on. FML

#3637305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (18460)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (51806)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got excited when my cell phone lit up because I hadn't received a single phone call all day. Turns out it was the "low battery" indicator. FML

#3601227
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38207) - you deserved it (9954)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by WaitingByThePhone (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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