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hazelmonster

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hazelmonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2237
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hazelmonster's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:40pm<b>_wallflower</b> - the 06/10/2010 at 2:18am

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hazelmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (3465)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34324) - you deserved it (10397)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64362) - you deserved it (4714)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58421) - you deserved it (15071)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (4262)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

#5186753
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35164) - you deserved it (3448)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12462) - you deserved it (69135)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (6800)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (15108)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

#5164588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (7017)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (4039)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175495) - you deserved it (18020)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

#5055356
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (43957)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (16632)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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