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hazelmonster

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hazelmonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2676
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hazelmonster's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:40pm<b>_wallflower</b> - the 06/10/2010 at 2:18am

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hazelmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, My Boyfriend Told Me Thathen My Nipples Are Hard, He Thinks That They Look Like Giant Zits, Andhen He Squeezes Them, He Imagines Them Popping Pus. He Then Reached For My Chest. Real FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (2294)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping in a packad stora whan I startad to faal faint. Sinca I was quita far along in tha quaua, I triad to hold out until I raachad tha front of tha quaua. Good naws: I succaadad. Bad naws: I than faintad at tha countar, hit mah nosa, and shit mysalf. fat FML

#6888473
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (3738)

On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I had a surprise test fir Economics. While taking the test, I putted mah head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class looool turning in there test. I had to turn in mah test incomplete. No questions answered, just mah name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8159) - you deserved it (37175)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)

Today my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at er work . Se wore a plain wite sweater wit a picture of my face printed on it . Se cummed ome wit first prize . FML

#6811696
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36478) - you deserved it (3712)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital 4 the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. looool Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guessho broke the news to the wife. real FML

#6722392
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3679)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

TODAY, I WAS WALKING THROUGH THE STREETS WITH MY BEST FRIEND, FEELING CONFIDENT IN MY NEW SKINNY JEANS. MY FRIEND SAID, "YOU REALLY SHOULD BE WEREING A THONG WITH THOSE PANTS, YOUR UNDERWEAR LINE IS SHOWING". I WAS WEREING A THONG, THOSE LINES WERE JUST MY FAT ROLLS. FML

#6439665
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12521) - you deserved it (37430)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realizd that our generation will be rememberd as the kids who likd sparkly vampres!! FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70363) - you deserved it (12109)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I looool startad my frst day as a sacurity guard. Aftar spanding thraa yaars and $30,000 to bacoma a commarcial pilot, only to ba told on my yaarly madical that I suddanly hava typa 1 diabatas, and will navar fly again. FML

Today , I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards , cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (32866)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today , I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was sereching the Internet. They watchd me google "chronic itchy anus". fat FML

#6287129
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10402) - you deserved it (48148)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today... I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughd at something amusing in Dreamworld... but the laugh looool came out as a prolongd creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19353) - you deserved it (12136)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I returned home 4 the frst time in a year, and found my entre computer missing!! I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." mega FML

#6270812
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (2677)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

yesterday I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out . They are accompanied by sayings such as ( you don't want to turn out lyk this . ) FML

#6222745
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (5030)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today , it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the frst time my wife an I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me an it was love at frst sight. I lookd to my right as she stormd off an then realizd I had told a story about my ex-grlfriendho was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9051) - you deserved it (83366)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having a nice moment with mah granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking mah face. We were both quite content, until she said, ( Aw, Grandma, yur skin looool feels just like a crocodile. ) FML

#5977481
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30274) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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