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hazelmonster

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hazelmonster
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1975
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hazelmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (13785)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42608) - you deserved it (7657)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59363) - you deserved it (9353)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102963) - you deserved it (13929)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (12375)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML

#14888727
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29023) - you deserved it (5182)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by Hopeless -

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2995)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67080) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66968) - you deserved it (4660)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

#14008430
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (6217)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8144) - you deserved it (24179)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States



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