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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hazel_rain

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hazel_rain
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 January 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hazel_rain's favorite FMLs

Today, after going to the bathroom, I saw what I thought was a hidden camera in the air vent. Freaking out, I called the cops as I thought someone was spying on me. When they got to my house they burst out laughing - it was a mini air freshener. FML

#5052532 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5085) - you deserved it (29446)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:18am - money - by 1800_idontcare (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (32127)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84480) - you deserved it (17443)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (30010) - you deserved it (3466)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

#4928502 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (46091) - you deserved it (5478)

On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

#4905255 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (2982)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (6823)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiance's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiance, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

#4895922 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (5473)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

#4895245 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you deserved it (5831)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

#4889725 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (9106)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (1477)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

#4877720 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (7309)

On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (2787)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (12228) - you deserved it (35259)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)