Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hazardoussmiles9

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

hazardoussmiles9

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1072
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hazardoussmiles9 : Disregard my username, I hate it.

hazardoussmiles9's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:18am<b>micassures</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:04pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:43pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:22pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:21pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:56am<b>Kamon97</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:33am<b>anj_marie</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:14am<b>jjmomo16</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:27pm<b>kalwalls</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:16pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:29am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:22am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:50am<b>SpunkyyyMonkeyy</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:46am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:23pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:47pm

Liked!<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:43am

hazardoussmiles9's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of hazardoussmiles9's badges

hazardoussmiles9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (29933)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (3759)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7003) - you deserved it (29072)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (4615)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (15153)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37222) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (9276)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12748) - you deserved it (26617)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17268) - you deserved it (21794)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (3723)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (2143)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you deserved it (30625)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (5293)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: