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hazardoussmiles9

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hazardoussmiles9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hazardoussmiles9 : Disregard my username, I hate it.

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hazardoussmiles9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6349) - you deserved it (27194)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23866) - you deserved it (4143)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20489) - you deserved it (14151)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23079) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11960) - you deserved it (25377)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (19658)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40565) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (21625)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19366) - you deserved it (4886)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6061) - you deserved it (27579)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML

#18508459
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (20882)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)



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