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hazardoussmiles9

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hazardoussmiles9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 786
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hazardoussmiles9 : Disregard my username, I hate it.

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hazardoussmiles9's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (8151)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53813) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (9615)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50942) - you deserved it (8423)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42795) - you deserved it (5585)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (3738)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48037) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15390) - you deserved it (34784)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48432) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (5757)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (4351)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (27939)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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