Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 10:07pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1815
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hazardoussmiles9 : Disregard my username, it's ridiculous and I hate it.

hazardoussmiles9's page activity

Visits<b>DBJ99</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:25am<b>lukian</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:25am<b>WordBea</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:05am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:06pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Thinkitthrough</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:47pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:36pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:52pm<b>amazing_race190</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:01pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:26pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:38pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:18am<b>micassures</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:04pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:43pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:52pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:43am

hazardoussmiles9's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of hazardoussmiles9's badges

hazardoussmiles9's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46950) - you deserved it (3580)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (21097)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (53621)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45376) - you deserved it (7020)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML


Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (12495)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (41675)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you deserved it (6788)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46230) - you deserved it (7720)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (11299)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (4937)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58306) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: