hazardoussmiles9

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hazardoussmiles9

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2307
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hazardoussmiles9 : Disregard my username, it's ridiculous and I hate it.

hazardoussmiles9's page activity

Visits<b>ABlindMan</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 2:25pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 10:59pm<b>DBJ99</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:25am<b>lukian</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:25am<b>WordBea</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:05am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:06pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Thinkitthrough</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:47pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:36pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:52pm<b>amazing_race190</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:01pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:26pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:38pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:52pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:43am

hazardoussmiles9's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of hazardoussmiles9's badges

hazardoussmiles9's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML

by NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus / 07/29/2016 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML

by Spongebob Garypants / 05/25/2016 at 10:05pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

by longest minute / 05/25/2016 at 7:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V / 11/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 6:12am / Malta / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health