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hazardoussmiles9

Offline (yesterday at 5:17pm) | Search for a member

hazardoussmiles9

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1094
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hazardoussmiles9 : Disregard my username, I hate it.

hazardoussmiles9's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:18am<b>micassures</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:04pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:43pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:22pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:21pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:56am<b>Kamon97</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:33am<b>anj_marie</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:14am<b>jjmomo16</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:27pm<b>kalwalls</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:16pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:29am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:22am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:50am<b>SpunkyyyMonkeyy</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:46am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:23pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:47pm

Liked!<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:43am

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hazardoussmiles9's favorite FMLs

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (7076)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (6526)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39899) - you deserved it (13678)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (5445)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37184) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (5318)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43041) - you deserved it (5769)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31743) - you deserved it (39360)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

#21014440
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (16928)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36592) - you deserved it (3223)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (6890)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44282) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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