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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13084) - you deserved it (5268)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19639) - you deserved it (1164)
On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11614) - you deserved it (28664)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (1471)
On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (9576)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (1764)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17571) - you deserved it (1620)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (5421)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States
Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14219) - you deserved it (889)
On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15735) - you deserved it (876)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (4206)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (4800)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (2538)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13366) - you deserved it (2465)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)
Monday 20 May 2013
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