harumph

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harumph

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 535
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About harumph : BLEH

harumph's page activity

Visits<b>vampivy23</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>Demon90</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:45am<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 08/05/2012 at 9:16pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/03/2011 at 9:23pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 5:44pm<b>jakeshade11</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 9:12pm<b>Lucas123</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 8:22pm

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harumph's favorite FMLs

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

by lonelyboy101 / 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

by J / 02/11/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

by Noname / 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous