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harrisonmoon

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harrisonmoon

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  • Number of visits : 1184
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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harrisonmoon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

#5661847
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (4282)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by swedishguy (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (2946)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so that his mom couldn't hear anything. I'm 20 years old and I lost my virginity with Disney Channel blaring in the background. FML

#5434150
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12463) - you deserved it (19030)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by seriouslystupid (woman) - United States

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61674) - you deserved it (3542)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

#5211678
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by 0ros (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (4218)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (5367)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

#4994251
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (7686)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33818) - you deserved it (4803)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (8394)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (47828)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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