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harrisonmoon

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harrisonmoon

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  • Number of visits : 1128
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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harrisonmoon's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (5569)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (3798)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (2974)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (4975)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (3899)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (2605)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (5505)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

#7607342
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35904) - you deserved it (8201)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML

#7600805
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Candace - United States

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

#7564709
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (5317)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by irishbabycakes (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (2901)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (41683)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29510) - you deserved it (8290)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9549) - you deserved it (99324)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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