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hare's favorite FMLs
by meghancuma / 09/22/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
by ballthlete / 09/06/2015 at 12:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by jessiejaybee / 11/18/2014 at 5:41am / United States / Love
Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML
by ohgosh... / 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 9:04am / Israel / Love
by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments / 02/01/2014 at 3:11am / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML
by spitball101 / 01/12/2014 at 12:26am / Australia / Love
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
by bad luck skier / 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Health
by thejanamonster / 12/30/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML
by Sophies / 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Money
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 12:02am / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by Mary / 12/16/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…