Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hardestbutton

Search for a member

hardestbutton

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 February 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2578
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hardestbutton's page activity

Visits<b>lameuser</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 6:16pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm

hardestbutton's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of hardestbutton's badges

hardestbutton's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

#6217069
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39137) - you deserved it (3833)

On 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (3105)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (5149)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

#6094134
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (4430)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by trickortreat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43273) - you deserved it (4016)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5091) - you deserved it (39118)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

#5907906
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (3008)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:26am - health - by 20lbknockout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

#5877421
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43199) - you deserved it (4616)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by hairdresser (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8881) - you deserved it (47880)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

#5862542
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (7708)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87370) - you deserved it (14604)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36836) - you deserved it (2358)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

#5699766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (4193)

On 10/07/2009 at 8:31am - misc - by 3lavyaa - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

#5609665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (16451)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60548) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: