Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hardestbutton

Search for a member

hardestbutton
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 February 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2350
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hardestbutton's last visitors

lameuser

hardestbutton's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of hardestbutton's badges

hardestbutton's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7356) - you deserved it (36977)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (28233)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

#6631628
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (1913)

On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10457) - you deserved it (28237)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25105) - you deserved it (12100)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (78092)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (45249)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25138) - you deserved it (3458)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (4132)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: