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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37111) - you deserved it (2136)
On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you deserved it (27899)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (3124)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (9910)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (6546)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (2026)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (5148)
On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5428) - you deserved it (50909)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2864) - you deserved it (44436)
On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (15049)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17435) - you deserved it (3901)
On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (1785)
On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18626) - you deserved it (4054)
On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I gave my wife her anniversary card. She started to giggle then walked in our bedroom and came back with the exact same card from last year. This is the second time I've done this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6025) - you deserved it (22092)
On 12/22/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by todayJman03 (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (1903)
On 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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