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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140847) - you deserved it (32149)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11173) - you deserved it (164339)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (5239)
On 04/22/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by slowrunner (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15610) - you deserved it (68658)
On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83393) - you deserved it (6467)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (63829)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (46585)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205629) - you deserved it (44854)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML
I agree, your life sucks (48472) - you deserved it (9128)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (56920)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (56920)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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