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hannahhlizz's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
hannahhlizz's favorite FMLs
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Health
by firelava / 04/25/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML
by Tomatoe Face / 04/22/2014 at 1:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…