About hand1234 : Hey all you people my name is Kel I love One Direction ( Nialls my fav along with Liam) Katy Perry and Rascal Flats. I love to eat play guitar dance and practice on my drawing skills but yea this me thanks
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hand1234's favorite FMLs
Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML
by Cat / 06/13/2010 at 10:36am / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML
by mark / 06/06/2010 at 7:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML
by Man vs. Spider / 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm / United States / Animals
by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Darkness162000 / 01/07/2010 at 7:21pm / France / Miscellaneous
by NotANaturist / 01/01/2010 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
by ouchh / 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
by Ricky / 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML
by ipopnlok / 06/29/2009 at 2:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get… Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing… Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started…