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hamusta

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hamusta

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1033
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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hamusta's page activity

Visits<b>Lady_Comet</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:36am<b>kickazz16</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:01am<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 9:46pm

hamusta's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of hamusta's badges

hamusta's favorite FMLs

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (3070)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (1968)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (5766)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36673) - you deserved it (4146)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (8545)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (2540)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

#21419568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (4694)

On 06/02/2015 at 3:42am - money - by sorrystupid - United States

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25068) - you deserved it (7710)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68) - you deserved it (157)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (48822)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (36181)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40848) - you deserved it (5096)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (30822)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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