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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54828) - you deserved it (4108)
On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69776) - you deserved it (8240)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (15546)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (6472)
On 03/25/2013 at 1:04am - animals - by brittyed (woman) - United States
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (1641)
On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (11296)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (17095)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (10129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (2076)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (2659)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you deserved it (3420)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (2068)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8199) - you deserved it (14832)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (3015)
On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (1884)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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