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hammertime217

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hammertime217

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  • Number of visits : 1139
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 4:59pm<b>Us3rNam3</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 11:33am

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hammertime217's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92490) - you deserved it (17335)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55562) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11192) - you deserved it (58419)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (35731)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (59361)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

#873134
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67894) - you deserved it (3579)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:08pm - kids - by livay315 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

#855959
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (94290)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (47713)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

#806381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62209) - you deserved it (3275)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

#737315
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54585) - you deserved it (4679)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96475) - you deserved it (9131)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML

#718784
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60285) - you deserved it (28147)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:32am - kids - by somerandomchick (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66840) - you deserved it (10287)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26054) - you deserved it (69204)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (597551) - you deserved it (37950)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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