This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41535) - you deserved it (18836)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9205) - you deserved it (48911)
On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5965) - you deserved it (60173)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (71396)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11474) - you deserved it (58056)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76868) - you deserved it (2308)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (1726)
On 07/31/2009 at 4:03am - love - by FreakedOut (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45825) - you deserved it (2674)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (20391)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (20391)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (3990)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (64087)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53784) - you deserved it (2292)
On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71608) - you deserved it (3336)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50477) - you deserved it (2556)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
