hammertime217

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hammertime217

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1669
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hammertime217's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 4:59pm<b>Us3rNam3</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 11:33am

hammertime217's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hammertime217's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

by pwndbykidz / 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

by Betrayed / 07/31/2009 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

by FreakedOut / 07/31/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

by Toaster / 07/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

by dork / 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

by hockey9797 / 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

by dinapar / 07/14/2009 at 10:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous