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hammertime217

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hammertime217

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  • Number of visits : 1143
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 4:59pm<b>Us3rNam3</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 11:33am

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hammertime217's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (14299)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (15559)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

#4622066
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10542) - you deserved it (88989)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14636) - you deserved it (46984)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

#4609790
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49608) - you deserved it (2524)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70188) - you deserved it (8178)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47682) - you deserved it (15621)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

#4571897
102 comments

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58150) - you deserved it (2785)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

#4555175
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43813) - you deserved it (21014)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

#4554817
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51905) - you deserved it (6900)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (3659)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

#4482607
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49414) - you deserved it (3423)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm - work - by d.stack (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46222) - you deserved it (21116)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)



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