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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23045) - you deserved it (11085)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11349) - you deserved it (26961)
On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend, her parents and I, drove 5 hours all the way to disneyworld, only to realize we had bought disneyland tickets. Disneyland is in California, 3000 miles away. We couldn't switch them out and we didn't have money to buy new ones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (35911)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38314) - you deserved it (3295)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by helenablitz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (34962) - you deserved it (15872)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (2196)
On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (1843)
On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (5009)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (66751)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50456) - you deserved it (7774)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5394) - you deserved it (58563)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3741)
On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6312) - you deserved it (47842)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (74623) - you deserved it (4461)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14362) - you deserved it (46837)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
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