haj

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Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 3:52pm)

haj

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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haj's page activity

Visits<b>din0m1te</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:25am<b>SouthernSweetie</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 5:47pm<b>erinnrose</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 10:47am<b>RealReality</b> - the 10/05/2012 at 4:02pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>Sakura13</b> - the 04/21/2011 at 7:19am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:22am<b>paleontology</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 6:03pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 01/17/2011 at 6:53am<b>baby_gurl2405</b> - the 12/16/2009 at 10:04pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 11/28/2009 at 1:00am<b>ha</b> - the 11/12/2009 at 3:38pm

haj's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of haj's badges

haj's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

by Devin / 05/19/2013 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:01am / Canada / Money

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous