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hahobs's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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hahobs's favorite FMLs
by kaybax / 11/19/2011 at 6:42am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Love
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML
by dazean / 11/15/2011 at 1:00pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML
by Bisounours / 07/22/2011 at 7:23am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
by screwedwoman27 / 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm / United States / Kids
by evomadrid24 / 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by RedheadA / 06/16/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML
by Username / 06/16/2011 at 9:20am / United States / Love
by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Braxam / 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Health
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 9:37am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with… Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event,… Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked…