hahaitsmattheau

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hahaitsmattheau

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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hahaitsmattheau's page activity

Visits<b>deathrise007</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:59pm<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:48am<b>776279</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 3:31am<b>Skylae</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:17pm<b>CanadiansPlease</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 3:56pm<b>zidiko</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:19pm<b>treschicmylove</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:01pm<b>TheRussianProj</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 7:48pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 12:30pm<b>Kashaqueetrah</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 7:29pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 8:54pm<b>uber_dweeb123</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 12:55pm<b>Lililthx</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 10:57am<b>melliemoo17</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 8:43am<b>rallets</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 7:08am<b>mudkipsan</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 5:05am<b>HansHansen</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 3:28am

Fucked!<b>776279</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:31am

hahaitsmattheau's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hahaitsmattheau's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

by ugly / 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

by bitchyskier / 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

by Really? / 07/10/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

by iloveZELOS / 07/05/2009 at 12:53am / United States / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous