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hahahahah
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hahahahah's favorite FMLs

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

#5669917
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 9 year old little sister is coming back in town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

#5620917
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5818) - you deserved it (52079)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by deadfish - United States (Florida)

Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (4451)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

#5413899
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32234) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

#5389483
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47857) - you deserved it (2607)

On 09/21/2009 at 5:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8869) - you deserved it (94155)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (3216)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56331) - you deserved it (14568)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12237) - you deserved it (33954)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8460) - you deserved it (51690)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10353) - you deserved it (44111)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16345) - you deserved it (33274)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend, her parents and I, drove 5 hours all the way to disneyworld, only to realize we had bought disneyland tickets. Disneyland is in California, 3000 miles away. We couldn't switch them out and we didn't have money to buy new ones. FML

#5002663
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17788) - you deserved it (38015)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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