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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (27222)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (3409)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26067) - you deserved it (4092)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (1935)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75047) - you deserved it (10604)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got home and realized that I didn't have my keys and my mum had said she wasn't going to be home till the next morning. After a long wait I decided I'd have to break a window to get in. Almost immediately after closing the door I watched as my mum pulled up in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16741) - you deserved it (4941)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (2745)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (5208)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (2528)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (1929)
On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (2532)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (8425)
On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (14355)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36636) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124107) - you deserved it (4826)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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