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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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had_a_bad_day

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had_a_bad_day

About had_a_bad_day : I was born and raised by dogs and currently trying to break the habit of chasing cars and scratching beind the ear with my foot.
I once sold a piece of burnt toast with the face of jesus on it on ebay for $113.75.
I also once saved a group of kids from a burning school bus.

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had_a_bad_day's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower after a run. We were under a tornado watch, and I halfway through the lights dimmed and I heard the tell-tale "train" sound. Panicked, I bolted wet and naked for the basement, crashing into my mom as I flew out the door. The sound was just her new vacuuming. FML

#1194699 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (9517)

On 04/21/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (51637) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

#1120494 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (82858) - you deserved it (7048)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (45296)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML

#1114607 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (38318)

On 04/19/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by racoonface - United States

Today, I woke up in the night and was really thirsty so I took a drink of water that had been sitting next to my bed for a few hours. After taking a huge gulp, I felt something strange in my mouth, ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up I saw all the ants that were floating in it. FML

#1110151 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (45639) - you deserved it (9437)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Ihatebugs. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

#1103682 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (51785) - you deserved it (3709)

On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

#1100061 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (19862)

On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (668)

I agree, your life sucks (402933) - you deserved it (26904)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (51244) - you deserved it (5130)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (40168)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (52347) - you deserved it (7989)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friends apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (13042) - you deserved it (78513)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

#742330 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (61810) - you deserved it (1806)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (76847) - you deserved it (6508)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)