habeeboburky94

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habeeboburky94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8479
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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habeeboburky94's page activity

Visits<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:48am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:08pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:19pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:18pm<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:06am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 2:09am<b>AnnaGoesRawrx3</b> - the 09/02/2012 at 2:55pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 11/11/2011 at 11:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:32pm<b>tom_mccartney94</b> - the 04/25/2011 at 7:32am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:12am<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/03/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 11/29/2010 at 3:18pm<b>ChibiChibi</b> - the 11/18/2010 at 4:22pm<b>Hemi_Driven</b> - the 11/15/2010 at 2:28pm<b>mouxouxou</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 1:14pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 4:13pm<b>Inspired22</b> - the 11/07/2010 at 9:24pm

habeeboburky94's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

habeeboburky94's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

by Jenny / 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

by johnfrank / 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

by crap / 03/26/2009 at 4:37am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

by tinytitty / 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

by Pissed Off / 03/07/2009 at 5:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous