habeeboburky94

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habeeboburky94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8483
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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habeeboburky94's page activity

Visits<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:48am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:08pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:19pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:18pm<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:06am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 2:09am<b>AnnaGoesRawrx3</b> - the 09/02/2012 at 2:55pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 11/11/2011 at 11:27pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:32pm<b>tom_mccartney94</b> - the 04/25/2011 at 7:32am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:12am<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/03/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 11/29/2010 at 3:18pm<b>ChibiChibi</b> - the 11/18/2010 at 4:22pm<b>Hemi_Driven</b> - the 11/15/2010 at 2:28pm<b>mouxouxou</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 1:14pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 4:13pm<b>Inspired22</b> - the 11/07/2010 at 9:24pm

habeeboburky94's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

habeeboburky94's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, I was also eating a bag of starbursts. They bag slid off the bed, I went to catch them and in the process my knee hit my laptop which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my $2,500 laptop to save 11 starbursts from falling. FML

by MYLIFESUX / 04/12/2009 at 2:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Geek

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead says "Just kidding, its really cheap." and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

by JimmyJazzNJ / 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

by intranator / 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Love

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

by Alex / 03/31/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy