Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About gunstoner : Hey! I'm 17 years old, go to school and party. Message me if you want to know more.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014