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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
gummybear904's favorite FMLs
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML
by cachow / 09/06/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying,… Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than… Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's…