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gummy1301

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gummy1301

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  • Number of visits : 1279
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gummy1301's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63632) - you deserved it (28460)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58201) - you deserved it (10089)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114515) - you deserved it (268053)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

#168458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53511) - you deserved it (6725)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42493) - you deserved it (26473)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (256923) - you deserved it (60044)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71365) - you deserved it (18604)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62801) - you deserved it (7152)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49037) - you deserved it (9163)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (66938)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65078) - you deserved it (5167)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (48491)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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