Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gummy1301

Search for a member

gummy1301

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1188
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gummy1301's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gummy1301's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63581) - you deserved it (28435)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58122) - you deserved it (10085)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113968) - you deserved it (266224)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

#168458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53450) - you deserved it (6721)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42447) - you deserved it (26450)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (255155) - you deserved it (59904)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70254) - you deserved it (18376)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62726) - you deserved it (7149)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48973) - you deserved it (9157)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (66893)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65022) - you deserved it (5166)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (48445)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: