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gummy1301

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gummy1301

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  • Number of visits : 1447
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummy1301's favorite FMLs

my boyfriend cummed in mah room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to putted his basilisk into mah chamber of secrets. And yes, that was mah frst time. FML

#5168083
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (7623)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 looool straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." real FML

#4699130
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15458) - you deserved it (46979)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today... I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59477) - you deserved it (8797)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

2day I was sitting at te park wit a frienden a small cild approacd us. Just as movd off te bridge to let te kid play, e askd if I would like to play te troll under te bridge. I laugd and said no tanks, toic te kid respondd 'but tere is nobody else ugly enoug.

#3285415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (3902)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

yesterday looool I was helping a couple come up with a name fir the baby they just had . I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name . All sudden.. . the room got quiet . Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of thier 3 year old son who had died a couple months before . mega FML

#2798038
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (79728)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so bieng polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board.

#2792328
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (49139)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by silly_billy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the cafeteriahen I noticed a new worker cleaning a table!! As I passed her, she looked up an smiled at me!! Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes an smiled back!! She looked hurt an continued working!! Later, she served me my lunch!! She was actually cross-eyed!!

#2774700
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13274) - you deserved it (69343)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123613) - you deserved it (75599)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today I found out mah mom paid mah best friend $20 to be mah friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132699) - you deserved it (7356)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Taday mah crush was walking up to me an I puttd mah earphone in... playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out an say... "Oh... I didn't see you there!" His response... "They're not connectd to anything..." holds up the end of mah earphone an walks away. FML

#2687233
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (120362)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, AFTER MASTURBATING IN THE SHOWER, I HEARD MAH PHONE GO OFF OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM . AFTER MAH MOM SAW ME GET MAH PHONE TO CHECK MAH MESSAGES SHE SAID "I THINK YOUR ADDICTED TO THAT", TOHICH I SAID "BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD AND EVERY GUY DOES IT." SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW I TEXT PEOPLE A LOT . FML

#2682803
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12918) - you deserved it (73088)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Taday my cousin and I found out that when a grl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. mega FML

#2671287
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65486) - you deserved it (6652)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , I was on the phone with my best guy friend , who I have loved 4 yeres. I was talking about school an all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god , oh my god. I love you , too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom , who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64402) - you deserved it (16306)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY I WAS PARTNERD WITH THIS REALLY SEXY GUY FIR AN AUDITION. HE SAYS "AM I REALLY STUCK WITH YOU? I CAN'T EVEN STAND BEING SEEN WITH U IN PUBLIC!" I START CURSING HIM OUT REALLY LOUD BUT THEN I REALIZE THAT HE'S ONLY READING THE SCRIPT. EVERYONE WAS STARING AND HE CALLD ME A CRAZY BITCH. FML

#2445222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11354) - you deserved it (63531)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)



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